NEW YORK, NY — After 27 years of tirelessly terrorizing concierges, outsmarting hotel security, and solidifying his status as the only orangutan to successfully perform a five-star room service heist, Dunston has officially checked out for good.

The beloved (and occasionally reviled) simian star of the 1996 film Dunston Checks In was spotted leaving the Majestic Hotel, carrying a small duffel bag, a banana-stained room key, and what witnesses described as "the kind of smugness only a primate can pull off."

Sources close to Dunston confirm that he was escorted to the valet by Jason Alexander, who looked just exhausted. "He’s been running up minibar tabs for years,” Alexander muttered. “I just hope he tips this time.”

Fans of the original movie are reportedly divided on the news. “It’s about time,” said Cheryl Hargrove, a longtime Dunston critic and professional hotel reviewer. “I’ve stayed at dozens of luxury hotels, and I’ve never once seen an orangutan raid a buffet. It’s frankly insulting to hospitality professionals.”

Others, however, are devastated by the idea of Dunston leaving the iconic Majestic Hotel. “He is the Majestic,” sobbed one fan wearing a homemade "Dunston Forever" t-shirt. “If Dunston’s not checking in, then what’s the point of even having hotels anymore?”

Dunston’s team has not commented on his future plans, but rumors suggest the orangutan is eyeing a new venture: a minimalist retreat in Bali where guests can “disconnect, eat tropical fruits, and learn the art of stealthy window escapes.”

Industry insiders believe Dunston is also in talks for a sequel, tentatively titled Dunston Checks His Pension, in which he retires to a quiet life of poolside relaxation. Reports claim Danny DeVito is attached to star as the manager of a retirement home for over-the-hill animal actors.

Meanwhile, the Majestic Hotel is scrambling to fill the void left by Dunston’s departure. Management is reportedly considering rebranding with a series of family-friendly attractions, including a turtle that occasionally blinks and a pigeon that’s “really good at stealing fries.”

“We’re confident guests will still flock to the Majestic,” said hotel spokesperson Lisa Carmichael. “Sure, Dunston was unique, but there’s only so much an orangutan can do for a property. The beds are still nice!”

As the sun set on the Majestic Hotel, a small crowd gathered to watch Dunston’s final exit. He turned once, dramatically, from the hotel lobby and gave what onlookers swear was a knowing wink before leaping into a black Escalade.

“Goodbye, Dunston,” murmured one tearful bellhop. “You crazy, banana-loving genius.”

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