NewsTime News

View Original

BREAKING: Someone Is Going To Take These Leftovers Home with Them

HENDERSONVILLE, NC — In what is being described as a “culinary hostage situation,” local grandmother Margaret Whitman is reportedly yelling into her dining room from her kitchen to inform family members that, “Somebody will be taking these leftovers home with them.”

“Look, I don’t care who it is, but someone’s leaving with at least half this cranberry sauce,” said Whitman, pointing aggressively at a casserole dish. “I will not be eating turkey sandwiches until New Year’s Day!”

Despite initial resistance, Whitman’s tactics escalated when she began forcefully distributing Ziploc bags stuffed with green bean casserole, which her nephew Greg described as "a bold and borderline coercive move." Greg said in a press release that he does not “even know how to handle this kind of thing in the car.”

“Why am I getting three containers of mashed potatoes?” Asked Whitman’s grandson Andrew. “I didn’t even bring Tupperware! She handed me a Cool Whip container and said, ‘Figure it out.’” Eyewitnesses say that Whitman went so far as to mention Andrew’s status as, “single” before putting an end to all objections by referring to the twenty-sex year old as a “growing boy.”

Meanwhile, the family is locked in heated negotiations over the pumpkin pie. Whitman insists someone take it, but cousin Stephanie has escalated the conflict negotiations by pointing out that “there’s only one slice left, and it’s just crust.” Diplomats from the Lewis side of the family are reportedly preparing a response.

As of press time, Aunt Linda had reportedly accepted a gallon of leftover gravy under duress.


More News:

See this gallery in the original post