NEW YORK — Authorities confirmed Tuesday that Luigi Mangione, the 32-year-old Italian-American man accused of fatally shooting United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson, has been formally charged with first-degree murder—and, notably, with four counts of being an absolute knockout.

Mangione, whose smoldering headshot has been shared over 700,000 times since his arrest, has left the public equally captivated and confused. According to Altoona police, the charges stem not only from his alleged involvement in the high-profile homicide but also from the unrelenting magnetism that has sparked fierce debate on social media.

“Let me be clear: Mr. Mangione is a suspect in a heinous crime,” said Altoona Police Chief Juan Alvarez at a press conference. “However, we cannot ignore the fact that he has objectively perfect bone structure, a jawline that could cut glass, and eyes that seem to whisper, ‘You could change me.’ We are investigating all aspects of his appeal.”

“It’s almost unfair,” said local resident Sheila Martinez. “Like, you can’t just look like that and possibly commit crimes. It’s too much for society to handle.”

While prosecutors are focusing on building their case around the alleged premeditated murder, defense attorneys appear to be leaning heavily into the "total snack" angle. Mangione’s lead counsel, Carla Donatello, argued during his arraignment that the sheer dreaminess of her client constitutes "reasonable doubt.”

“This man could kill anyone just by looking at them,” said Donatello, gesturing toward Mangione, who appeared in court wearing a crisp white shirt and the kind of smirk usually reserved for fragrance ads. “I mean, have you seen those dimples? Even his drivers license photo is hot. Case dismissed.”

Experts say the case poses a unique challenge for the justice system, as traditional legal frameworks rarely account for overwhelming physical attractiveness. Legal scholar Dr. Anita Freedman notes that the charges of "being a rock-hard stud" are historically difficult to prosecute. “The last time we saw something like this was with that 'Hot Felon' guy in 2014, but Mangione’s case is even more complex,” said Freedman. “It’s not just his looks. It’s the way he broods. It’s the way he leans against things. He could lean against any of us and start saying what he’s brooding about, right? Then where would we be?”

As the trial date approaches, public interest shows no signs of waning. A Change.org petition titled “Free Luigi, You Beautiful Angel” has already amassed over 500,000 signatures, with fans arguing that the legal system should “find another way to deal with hot people.”

When reached for comment, Mangione reportedly ran a hand through his thick, wavy hair and said, “This is all a misunderstanding,” before flashing a half-smile that caused several journalists to audibly swoon.

At press time, Mangione’s GoFundMe for legal expenses had raised $2.7 million and two marriage proposals.

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