In a development that experts are calling "the end of joy as we know it," humanity has descended into a collective state of existential despair following the conclusion of the annual Toytotathon event. The marathon, which saw car dealerships across the nation offer slightly lower prices marked on really big balloons, came to an end yesterday, leaving millions aimlessly wandering through their lives without purpose—or a 2.9% APR financing deal.

"Without Toytotathon, what’s the point of anything?" sobbed Amanda Porter, a mother of three who was spotted clutching a brochure for a Toyota Highlander like it was her last link to reality. "I didn’t even buy a car—I just liked knowing it was there. Now… now it’s just gone?"

Social media platforms have been inundated with posts from devastated citizens mourning the loss. The hashtags #NeverForgetToytotathon and #APRorGTFO have been trending worldwide. A Change.org petition demanding Toytotathon be extended indefinitely has already gathered over 2 million signatures, and at least one influencer live-streamed herself burning her current vehicle in protest, screaming, "If it’s not a Camry, it’s not worth it!"

The abrupt end of Toytotathon has also sent shockwaves through the global economy. Auto industry analysts report that dealership employees, who had grown accustomed to enthusiastically yelling at cameras about "LIMITED TIME OFFERS," are now experiencing identity crises.

"My whole life revolved around telling people about ‘these deals won’t last forever’," said Gary Thompson, a Toyota salesperson in Akron, Ohio. "Now I don’t know who I am. Were the deals ever really that great? Was it all a lie? I might go sell Subarus. Maybe I like dogs and hiking more than reliability and savings now."

Psychologists warn that the end of Toytotathon has left a void that other holidays like Presidents' Day sales or Black Friday blowouts are unlikely to fill. "Toytotathon wasn't just about buying cars," said Dr. Emily Johansson, a behavioral economist. "It was about hope. Hope that one day, we could all trade in our 2013 Corolla for something with a rear-view camera and Bluetooth."

Efforts to console the grieving public have been largely unsuccessful. Toyota has already pivoted to promoting its next event, "Trucktober," but many argue it lacks the same emotional resonance. "Trucktober? Really?" sneered longtime Toyota enthusiast Carl Benson. "That’s like trying to replace Christmas with Arbor Day. More like Cucktober, because I may as well just watch someone else have sex with my wife now."

Meanwhile, global leaders have called for calm as civil unrest continues to grow. In Los Angeles, protesters blocked highways while chanting, “Toytoathon or death.” In Paris, demonstrators marched beneath banners reading, "Liberté, Égalité, Financing Flexibility!"

Amid the chaos, some have turned to grassroots movements to fill the void. In a small town in Nebraska, residents have launched their own local “Toytotathon Forever” initiative, offering each other discounts on rides in their 2008 Priuses. "It’s not the same, but it’s something," said organizer Marge Jenkins. "I’m just trying to keep a little hope alive in this really difficult time."

As the world continues to grapple with this unprecedented crisis, one thing is clear: Toytotathon may be over, but its impact will echo in the hearts of humanity forever—or at least until the next November when Toyotathon brings joy to the world again.

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