TRAVEL REVIEW: I wouldn’t say “Great” Lakes
Written By: Todd P. Lungren - NewsTime News
After a week spent touring the so-called "Great" Lakes, I feel compelled to ask: Are we sure about the name? Because, having seen them firsthand, I’d argue the term “great” might be overselling it.
Don’t get me wrong, they’re big—very big. But size alone doesn’t make something great. The DMV is big, too, and I don’t hear anyone waxing poetic about that. Take Lake Superior, for example. Sure, it’s impressive in theory, but standing on the shore felt like staring at a really ambitious puddle. And don’t even get me started on Lake Erie. It’s basically just a wet parking lot with fish.
The water? It’s fine. Wet. Cold. But not the kind of cold that feels refreshing—more like the kind of cold that reminds you why you didn’t major in marine biology. Swimming in Lake Michigan, the most aptly named of the lakes, I kept waiting for some kind of magical “greatness” to hit me. Instead, I just stepped on a sharp rock and saw a seagull eating what might have been a cigarette.
The views? I guess they’re okay if you like endless horizons that blur the line between sky and water. That parts alright I guess as long as some family on a pontoon boat isn’t totally in the way. Plus, there’s this weirdly persistent wind all over my shirt.
Even the historic lighthouses didn’t live up to the hype. They’re nice to look at for about 30 seconds before you realize they’re just towers with lights in them. I mean, we have flashlights now—how impressed am I supposed to be?
To be fair, I suppose the lakes are doing their job. They’re full of water, they’re big, and they’ve got some nice beaches if you squint. But “great”? I don’t know. “Acceptable Lakes” seems more accurate. Maybe even “Reasonably Large Lakes.”
At the end of the day, I’m not saying the lakes aren’t worth visiting. I’m just saying they’re not worth all the fanfare. And if you think otherwise, I’d love to hear why—because right now, I feel like I’ve been scammed by a particularly enthusiastic geography textbook.
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