Tom Hardy To Star In Direct-To-Streaming ‘Venom Does Las Vegas’
In a move that has critics raising eyebrows and fans asking, “Why not?” Sony Pictures has announced Venom Does Las Vegas, a direct-to-streaming feature starring Tom Hardy as the eponymous alien symbiote. The film, described as a "bold reinvention of the superhero genre," will debut exclusively on an as-yet-unnamed streaming platform—likely one you’ve never heard of but will have to subscribe to for this one movie.
Michael Bay Snags Film Rights To Tragic Collision Over The Potomac
Director Michael Bay has reportedly acquired the film rights to the recent tragic mid-air collision over the Potomac River. The incident, which occurred on January 29, 2025, involved an American Airlines Bombardier CRJ700 passenger jet and a U.S. Army UH-60 Black Hawk helicopter, resulting in the loss of all 67 individuals on board both aircraft.
Oscars Finally Add ‘Hottest Actor’ Category
The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced today the addition of a long-demanded category: Hottest Actor. This marks the first time the Oscars have explicitly recognized the sizzling allure of Hollywood’s most snatched performers, setting X (formerly twitter), Tiktok, Instagram, Threads, BlueSky, and Truth Social aflame with opinions.
TRAVEL REVIEW: Kyoto, Japan? I Don’t Know, Man.
Kyoto, Japan. A place so steeped in history that it feels like it should come with a warning: “May cause accidental learning.” Who can be assed to do school work when you’re trying to have a holiday? I spent three days there, walking amongst temples, shrines, and people who seemed to understand what they were doing. I, however, did not.
World Falls To Despair As Toytotathon Ends
In a development that experts are calling "the end of joy as we know it," humanity has descended into a collective state of existential despair following the conclusion of the annual Toytotathon event.
Mr. Beast To Host Jimmy Carter's Funeral Live On Netflix
In an unprecedented move, philanthropist and YouTube mogul Mr. Beast announced today that he will be hosting the funeral of former U.S. President Jimmy Carter live on Netflix.
2025 Projected to Be Worst Year on Record for Airplane Seat-to-Booty Size Ratios
A report from the International Airline Comfort Association (IACA) has revealed that 2025 is on track to see an unprecedented mismatch between airplane seat dimensions and average booty size, sparking fears of widespread discomfort and cabin chaos.
TRAVEL REVIEW: I wouldn’t say “Great” Lakes
After a week spent touring the so-called "Great" Lakes, I feel compelled to ask: Are we sure about the name? Because, having seen them firsthand, I’d argue the term “great” might be overselling it.