Trump Sets Record For Worlds Highest Jump
WASHINGTON D.C. — In an unprecedented display of vitality, President Donald Trump has reportedly set a new world record for the highest vertical jump during his annual physical examination at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. Eyewitnesses claim that upon hearing he had lost a pound since his last check-up, the 78-year-old commander-in-chief leapt from the examination table, touching the ceiling tiles and leaving a distinct Trump-shaped indentation.
"I've never seen anything like it," said Dr. Ima Kidd, the attending physician. "One moment, he was seated calmly; the next, he was airborne, defying both age and gravity."
The Guinness World Records team was reportedly on standby, having been tipped off about the president's "tremendous energy" and "unparalleled athleticism." They confirmed that Trump's jump of 2.49 meters surpassed the previous record held by Javier Sotomayor.
In a statement on Truth Social, President Trump wrote, "I have never felt better, but nevertheless, these things must be done!"
God-damn liberal critics are saying that there is no way that a 78-year-old man who looks like President Trump could pull off this beautiful feat. Supporters, however, hail it as further evidence of the president's "superhuman" capabilities, suggesting that the White House consider installing a basketball hoop in the Oval Office.
As the nation grapples with this astonishing feat, one thing is clear: President Trump continues to reach new heights, both politically and physically.
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