Philly To Leave 72 Vacated Rite-Aids Empty In Case Eagles Have Anything To Do With Super Bowl
Following the recent closure of 72 Rite-Aid locations across the city, Philadelphia officials announced plans to leave the buildings completely empty in case the Eagles find themselves anywhere near the Super Bowl again this year.
Talking Food, Sex & Travel With Lincoln, The Eagle That Swoops Into The Stadium Before Eagles Games
Every Philadelphia Eagles home game begins the same way: a piercing scream, a rush of wind, and the majestic sight of Lincoln, the stadium’s resident bald eagle, soaring across the sky. But beyond the theatrics, who is Lincoln? What drives the most famous avian icon in football?
Displacing Minority Community Once Again Deemed Profitable
In a move heralded as a "win for progress" by developers and a "win for absolutely no one else" by critics, plans for a new Sixers stadium in Philadelphia's Chinatown have sailed past yet another crucial hurdle this week.
City Council To Squeeze More Money From Sixers Stadium Deal Before Voting
After months of public debate over the proposed $1.3 billion Sixers arena in Center City, members of the Philadelphia City Council announced Thursday that they are entering the "critical final stage" of determining exactly how much personal financial benefit they can extract before approving the deal.
Saquon Barkley Sets NFL Record as Best Overall Babysitter
In a groundbreaking off-field achievement, Philadelphia Eagles running back Saquon Barkley has been officially recognized as the NFL's all-time Best Babysitter. This honor comes after Barkley seamlessly balanced his rigorous training schedule with a weekend of babysitting duties for head coach Nick Sirianni's three energetic children.
NFL RECORD: Man Falls Asleep Nine Minutes Into Thanksgiving Day Game
In what experts are hailing as a groundbreaking feat of endurance, local man Kyle Ferguson shattered previous records by falling asleep just nine minutes into Thursday’s Thanksgiving NFL matchup.
BREAKING: Area Man Taking Turkey Trot Way Too Seriously Again
In what has become a yearly tradition, local man Greg Simmons is once again treating the annual Thanksgiving Turkey Trot like it’s the Olympic Trials, much to the dismay of his family and casual joggers everywhere.
Cherelle Parker Tells 76ers, “Losers Don’t Get New Stadiums”
“Let me be clear: you don’t get to start three and twelve then ask for prime real estate,” Parker said, holding up a copy of the team's dismal postseason stats for emphasis. “Losers don’t get new stadiums. Not in this city.”
INSPIRING: Vape Teen Looking To Transition To Vape Tricks Young Adult
Local 17-year-old Kyle Miller announced Monday that he’s ready to take his vaping hobby to the next level, transitioning from being a teen who vapes in the mall parking lot to a young adult wowing bar patios and small house parties with increasingly complex vape tricks.
Experts Say 4% Chance Mike Tyson & Jake Paul Will Kiss
A group of highly respected statisticians announced Friday that there is a 4% chance that YouTuber-turned-boxer Jake Paul and legendary heavyweight champion Mike Tyson will accidentally kiss during their upcoming exhibition match.
Sixers Set Record For Most “Early In The Season” Press Quotes
In a groundbreaking feat of linguistic dexterity and world-class deflection, the Philadelphia 76ers have officially set the NBA record for the highest number of "It's still early in the season" quotes uttered by players, coaches, and front office staff — and they’ve done it before November.
LA Collectively Takes Moment to Add Dodgers Fandom to Their Character Backstories
“It’s an LA thing,” said Marcus W., a graphic designer who had been a Yankees fan up until approximately noon today. Marcus reportedly spent the morning constructing his Dodger-fan origin story, which involved “vivid” recollections of summer nights spent at Dodger Stadium with his “Uncle Jerry, who’s a big Dodgers fan, obviously.” When pressed, Marcus admitted in a teary eyed confession that “Uncle Jerry would have loved to see this,” before taking a little bow and holding for applause.