SEPTA Hikes Fares, Cites Fewer Bicycle Deaths This Week
Philadelphia, PA — In a stunning public relations move today, the Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority (SEPTA) defended its upcoming fare increase by citing recent improvements in bicycle safety throughout the city. SEPTA spokespeople stated that for those riders who may find themselves priced out of public transit, recent urban biking statistics reflect fewer deaths this week.
The announcement comes amid a citywide push to make Philadelphia more bike-friendly, with new infrastructure projects designed to ease congestion and limit the chances of door-related incidents. “It’s incredible,” SEPTA spokesperson Lynn Rivertone said. “If you asked me 10 months ago if I’d advise a Philadelphian to bike down Broad Street as a budgetary alternative, I would’ve said that was insane.”
As expected, Philadelphians are responding to this new bike-friendly PR strategy with enthusiasm. “It’s kind of exciting,” said Mia Collins, who takes SEPTA to her office in Old City every day. “Sure, this means that me and other low income riders are statistically likely to end up in the hospital, but think of all the cardio!”
In a press release, SEPTA stated that “while some may no longer be able to afford our services, we take comfort in knowing that Philly’s cycling infrastructure is a little robust than before. Those priced out of public transit will enjoy the freedom of traveling at their own pace and—mostly—under their own power.”
Riders are taking these sentiments to heart, with many expressing appreciation for SEPTA’s progressive view on transit alternatives. “It’s refreshing to see SEPTA think outside the box,” said Malcolm Reeves, who commutes from Kensington. “They’re basically telling us, ‘Hey, you may not afford our fares anymore, but the city’s bike lanes are in the beginning stages of changing for the better!”
At a recent press event, SEPTA CEO Leslie Richards noted that the fare hike is “in the best interest of sustainable transportation options,” pointing out that a bustling biking community would reduce both pollution and congestion. Richards added, “Sure, some folks may not find SEPTA in their budget anymore, but imagine the thrill of reclaiming Philly’s streets for yourselves! And if more people are biking, six deaths a month will seem like less statistically when compared to the overall number of bicycle commuters.”