TRUMP FOR POPE? THE CHURCH NEEDS A BUSINESSMAN

The Vatican is in crisis, folks. Pope Francis, 88, is struggling with health issues, reportedly battling pneumonia and early-stage kidney failure. And while we all wish him well (thoughts and prayers!), the Catholic Church needs to start thinking about what comes next.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Who could possibly fill the shoes of the Supreme Pontiff, the Vicar of Christ, the Holy Father himself?” Well, I’ll tell you who, folks. It’s a man of action. A man of strength. A man who knows how to win.

Yes, I’m talking about Donald J. Trump.