College Friendship To Last Forever, Marked With Tattoos
Boone, North Carolina — A group of five best friends from Appalachian State University have sealed their lifelong bond in the most permanent way possible: matching tattoos of a poorly drawn pizza slice with the word “Forever” underneath it. The group, comprised of sophomores and fueled by an unshakable belief in their everlasting camaraderie, made the decision late Saturday night in the back of a strip mall tattoo parlor known as "Inkies."
“It just felt right,” said Jeremy Thompson, a communications major who assured reporters that he will “literally never stop talking to these people” and that they will “always make time for weekly group calls no matter what.” His friends nodded in agreement, seemingly unaware of the statistical likelihood that one of them will ghost the group chat within a year.
The squad, known by their inside joke-based moniker “The Mozzarella Mafia,” chose their pizza-themed design to commemorate their cherished college nights spent ordering from Luigi’s Pizzeria at 2 AM. “This is our thing,” said Ashley Carter, who has yet to grasp that job relocations, romantic relationships, and differing political views will soon stretch their once-tight-knit bond to its limits.
Tattoo artist Randy McGraw, who inked the group, commented on their boundless optimism. “Yeah, I see this kind of thing all the time. Last week it was a group of dudes who got ‘Wolf Pack 4 Ever’ on their calves. One of them came back yesterday for a cover-up,” he said, shaking his head.
Experts in friendship longevity suggest that while college bonds can be meaningful, they often struggle to survive the post-graduation reality of divergent career paths and time zone conflicts. Dr. Linda Wagner, a sociologist specializing in young adult relationships, weighed in on the phenomenon: “At this moment, they believe they’ll be the exception. In five years, at least two of them won’t remember the other’s birthday, one will be inexplicably blocked, and another will only engage via the occasional Instagram like.”
Despite the inevitable drift, the Mozzarella Mafia remains steadfast. “We’re literally going to be at each other’s weddings,” declared Chris Duncan, who will later claim he “totally meant to RSVP” but just got super busy.
As of press time, the friends were already experiencing their first minor fracture after realizing they hadn’t settled on a standard pizza crust type before getting their tattoos, leading to heated debates over deep dish versus thin crust. Still, they insist nothing will tear them apart—except, perhaps, the passage of time.
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