Local Family Abandons Dreams of Recycling
Galena, Illinois — After years of diligently sorting plastics, scrubbing peanut butter jars, and arguing over what actually goes in the blue bin, the Henderson family has officially given up on recycling. “It started with hope,” recalled Gary Henderson, father of three and former believer in a sustainable future. “We bought the special bins, memorized the symbols, and even lectured our kids about the difference between #1 and #5 plastics. But then… reality set in.”
According to family sources, their environmental optimism died a slow and painful death, beginning when they discovered their local recycling center no longer accepted glass. “We thought, okay, that’s fine, we’ll just take it to a separate drop-off location,” said Gary’s wife, Linda, who still gets twitchy around Styrofoam. “But then they changed the rules again—suddenly, pizza boxes were the enemy, and only ‘clean’ paper was acceptable. What does that even mean? Have you seen a third-grader’s homework folder?”
Their breaking point, however, came last Wednesday when their entire week’s worth of carefully sorted recyclables was unceremoniously tossed into the garbage truck by an apathetic waste collector. “I watched it happen,” whispered Gary, clutching an empty La Croix can like a war relic. “Right in with the trash. Everything we worked for. Gone.”
Following a brief family meeting, the Hendersons unanimously decided to embrace the inevitable and start throwing everything away with reckless abandon. “It’s freeing, honestly,” said 12-year-old Emily, who admitted she’d been sneaking plastic straws into the garbage for months. “I was tired of getting yelled at over yogurt cups.”
Springfield’s sanitation department has since confirmed that 90% of what residents put in their recycling bins ends up in the landfill anyway. Meanwhile, the Hendersons say they will honor their old eco-conscious ways in small ways—like reusing grocery bags until they disintegrate and feeling vaguely guilty about their choices.
At press time, Gary was last seen fighting a seagull over an empty Amazon box at the town dump.
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