Drive-Through Order Bungled Terribly
Helen, Georgia — A local woman is reportedly still recovering in bed at her home after placing a devastatingly mangled drive-through order, leaving both the fast-food staff and several innocent bystanders emotionally scarred.
According to witnesses, 29-year-old Jessica Harper pulled up to the drive-through speaker at the Main Street Burger King around 6:45 p.m., visibly stressed and talking on her phone while simultaneously trying to order. One bystander said that Harper even looked back at her car window at the other cars in line and mouthed the word “sorry” before ordering. Sources say Harper then launched into a completely incoherent string of requests that made absolutely no goddamn sense.
"It was a disaster from the start," said drive-through worker Kyle Mason. "She was like, ‘Can I get, um… a Number 3, no—wait, the Number 4 with—shit—no, extra lettuce, onions? Ketchup. Ketchup. Ketchup. Ketchup. Ketchup. Actually, wait, do you have… Sprite? Or maybe, like, a Coke or Doctor Pibb if you dont? Oh, and fries? Is that a meal? like a meal deal? I don’t want to pay for everything seperately. I know it’s a little less if I go with the meal. So just make it whatever that has to be to. Like, not the small one but not the big one either—oh, fuck, never mind, just whatever.’"
Mason said the order was entered as a Number 4 with onions, lettuce, a medium fry, and a Sprite — exactly as requested. But upon receiving the food, Harper reportedly stared at the bag like it was written in hieroglyphics and immediately lost her shit.
"I asked for NO ONIONS," Harper screamed at the second window, even though several witnesses confirmed she had absolutely asked for onions — and possibly extra ones at that.
"I think she panicked halfway through ordering and just started naming random words," Mason said. "At one point, she definitely said ‘ketchup’ five times in a row without explaining what the hell she wanted it on."
Security footage confirms Harper then tried to return the bag through the window while shouting, "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?" only to be gently reminded that this was exactly what she ordered. Harper reportedly responded, "Well, how the fuck am I supposed to know what I ordered? That’s literally YOUR job!" before aggressively peeling out of the parking lot and nearly running over a decorative shrub.
Burger King released a statement addressing the incident:
"We stand by the integrity of our ordering process and believe our team members fulfilled the request to the best of their ability, despite the customer’s full-scale mental breakdown at the speaker. We remain committed to providing high-quality fast food and will continue to do so even when the customer is very clearly making shit up as they go."
Social media reactions to the incident were brutal. A TikTok video of the security footage titled "Lady forgets how words work at drive-through" has already amassed 2.3 million views.
When reached for comment, Harper admitted to "possibly" making a mistake but maintained that Burger King should have "anticipated her true intentions."
"Yeah, I might’ve blacked out mid-order," Harper conceded. "But, like, that’s why they’re supposed to have customer service training. I mean, read between the fucking pages or the lines or the slices of meat and cheese. I don’t know."
At press time, Harper was seen sitting in her car in a Target parking lot, eating cold fries and Googling “is it legal to sue a fast-food place for emotional damage.”
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