Here’s Some Freaky Made Up Space Disaster To Think About
We here at NewsTime News feel it’s our journalistic duty to keep you informed, terrified, and maybe just a little bit paralyzed by existential dread. And since it’s been a whole week since we reminded you that the universe is an unfathomable expanse of chaos that wants to kill you, here’s a fresh helping of cosmic catastrophe to ruin your day: rogue planets.
That’s right. Rogue planets. Giant, aimless planetary vagabonds that have been flung out of their star systems like judgmental family members who think their opinions matter at a wedding, drifting through the galaxy with no purpose other than to casually wreck everything in their path.
And guess what? We got some scientists estimate there could be billions of these things in our galaxy alone. BILLIONS. Just hurtling through the void, minding their own business until one of them decides to crash the Solar System like an ex who hear about your house party.
Should one of these rogue planets swing by Earth, it could gravitationally slingshot us into oblivion, destabilize our orbit, or simply smash into us like a celestial wrecking ball. Imagine waking up to find out the moon has been evicted by some cosmic squatter, and now Earth’s tides are acting like a middle schoolers doing Wicked. We want to remind you that this scenario is a technically possible. Isn’t that scary!
What’s even more unsettling is how nonchalant the scientists are about this. “Rogue planets are fascinating objects,” they say with the same tone you’d use to describe a mildly interesting bird sighting. FASCINATING? Oh sure, Janet, fascinating in the same way a bear doing a reverse Goldilocks where he comes in and tests out all the food and beds before eating you is fascinating.
But don’t worry too much—rogue planets are pretty rare, and the odds of one plowing into us during your lifetime are slim. Then again, so were the odds of you being born, and look how that turned out. Could it all just be a little cosmic joke where the universe allows all of us to exist and starting to understand things only to prove itself to be cold and heartless by smashing it all to bits with a random wayward planet? Doesn’t that version of the universe seem like a person you know, and aren’t you scared now?
In conclusion, next time you’re staring up at the night sky, wondering about humanity’s place in the universe, just remember: we’re all tiny specks on a fragile rock, hurtling through a void where death could come for us at any moment in the form of an interstellar bowling ball.
Keep enjoying the news.
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