Area Man’s Vote Suppressed By Line
BOULDER, CO — Declaring democracy in “pretty dire straits,” local man Jim Hensley, 34, reportedly felt his right to vote was gravely suppressed Tuesday after seeing the long line outside his local polling station and deciding it wasn’t worth the wait.
“I get it; my vote is important. But I also have a lunch meeting in an hour, so it feels like the system is forcing me to pick priorities,” said Hensley, briefly pacing back and forth outside the community center before retreating to his car to check if Starbucks was less crowded. “This kind of disenfranchisement should not be happening in 2024. They’ve had four years to plan, and I’ve got only 45 minutes free between now and the gym.”
Hensley claims his frustration peaked as he estimated he’d have to stand in line for at least “20, maybe 30 minutes” with no guarantee he’d even get a good spot in line or be able to vote in time to grab a latte.
“Is this what they call democracy?” he added. “I wanted to vote, but no one in power seems to want to make it easy for me to actually do it. I have every right to vote, and I will absolutely go home and complain about it on Facebook.”
Friends and family report that Hensley is considering alternative strategies to make his voice heard, including half-heartedly refreshing the website with the early voting results and making one Instagram post with a caption reading, “Our system is broken.”
“Sure, maybe he’ll try again tomorrow,” said his girlfriend, who preferred to remain anonymous but mentioned she “kinda doubted” it.
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