Inconsiderate Santa Traipses Through Cottage In Muddy Boots After Doing Christmas
NORTH POLE — Despite his jolly reputation, Santa Claus is facing mounting criticism from Mrs. Claus after yet another Christmas Eve spent tracking mud, soot, and "God knows what else" all over their pristine North Pole cottage. Elves who witnessed Santa Returning home from his annual gift-giving spree without immediately taking off his boots report that the usually festive household was shrouded in tension.
“I’m not asking for much," said an exasperated Mrs. Claus, still scrubbing a suspicious stain near the fireplace. "Just that he takes two seconds to kick off the boots. But no, he’s tired. We’re all tired, Nicholas."
Sources close to the couple confirm this has been a recurring issue for centuries, with Santa often claiming he's “too worn out” after a long night of shimmying down chimneys, managing reindeer, and eating cookies “literally nonstop.” But Mrs. Claus insists that’s no excuse for the trail of debris he leaves in his wake.
“You’d think after centuries of marriage he’d show a little consideration,” she said, holding up a piece of hay that somehow ended up in the bathtub. “I mean, who brings hay into the bathroom?”
Elves familiar with the Claus household report that Mrs. Claus's frustration boiled over when Santa plopped down on their ivory sofa—still in his soot-covered suit—claiming he needed “just five minutes.” The resulting confrontation was reportedly heard as far away as the Reindeer Stables, where Dasher described the situation as “awkward but inevitable.”
“He always pulls this,” Dasher said. “He’s great at delivering joy to the world, but when it comes to his own house? Total slob. Honestly, we’re with Mrs. Claus on this one.”
In his defense, Santa issued a statement claiming the complaints are “overblown” and that he fully intended to take off his boots after finishing “a quick eggnog.” He also accused the media of ignoring the real story: how much snow and ice he keeps out of the house by doing a quick stomp on the mat.
The backlash, however, has been swift. Local homeowners have chimed in on Mrs. Claus's side, citing their own experiences with post-Christmas cleanup. “Who knows how many chimney’s this guy goes down on one night, then he comes just traipses into the home she just cleaned,” said Sheila McGregor of Topeka, Kansas. “If he’s this inconsiderate at home, I shudder to think what his workshop looks like.”
As for Mrs. Claus, she’s considering drastic measures if Santa doesn’t shape up by next Christmas. “Maybe next year, he can stay in the stables with the reindeer until he learns to respect the house. Let’s see how he likes tracking mud into their space.”
At press time, Santa was reportedly sitting on a futon in the garage, holding a mop, and muttering something about “getting no respect in my own cottage.”
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