5 Cheesesteaks That Will Get Him To Agree To Hang Out — And Not To Talk About How You're Better As Friends
It’s a tale as old as time: You invite him over, you think it’s finally happening, and then he drops the classic “I just really value you as a friend” line while leaving your heart in more pieces than a poorly sliced Amoroso roll. But don’t worry — it’s not you. It’s your cheesesteak strategy.
OUTRAGE: Another Man Asks Innocent Citizen If They’ve Ever Had a REAL Bagel
In yet another assault on freedom and common decency, sources confirm that an unidentified man has approached an unsuspecting citizen—again—with the age-old, unsolicited question: “But have you ever had a real bagel?” This latest incident, which took place at an undisclosed location (but, let’s be honest, probably near a coffee shop), has left many wondering: How much more of this can we take?
BREAKING: Chi-Chi's a Hit Now?
Formerly best known for a 2003 Hepatitis A outbreak and a vague association with your mom’s favorite "Mexican" restaurant in the ‘90s, Chi-Chi’s has somehow become the place to see and be seen.
Chinese Buffet Introduces Guarantee That Dad Will Make It Home Before Shitting Pants
In an attempt to its reputation as a family-friendly establishment, Golden Dragon Buffet unveiled its new “Dad Safe” guarantee this week, boldly promising that fathers dining at the restaraunt will make it home before shitting themselves in the car.