AMERICA — America, the great and noble land of opportunity, is finally being saved from the suffocating grip of the radical left’s cancel culture. President Donald J. Trump—our fearless leader, the champion of freedom, the greatest businessman of all time—is stepping up once again to undo the damage done by years of feminist tyranny in the workplace.

That’s right, folks. The days of cold, sterile offices where men live in fear of paying a simple compliment are OVER. With his newest executive order, titled the Make Work Fun Again Act, Trump is boldly bringing back the tried-and-true workplace dynamics that built this great nation.

Finally, A Return to Normalcy!

For too long, hard-working American men—construction workers, CEOs, hedge fund managers, and even local Arby’s shift supervisors—have been walking on eggshells, afraid to even tell Janice from Accounting that her new skirt would look better on the floor. Why? Because the woke mob declared normal human interactions illegal.

Thanks to Trump, businesses will no longer be at the mercy of feminist HR departments drunk on their own power. Instead, companies will have mandatory daily team-building exercises that encourage open, fun, and lighthearted interactions between male and female employees—just like in the golden era of Mad Men!

"We're making the office fun again,” said Trump at a press conference. “It’s been very, very sad. Men used to love going to work, looking sharp, having a good time. Now? They’re afraid. They whisper. They avoid eye contact. It’s terrible. Just terrible. But I’m fixing it.”

HR Departments Will Finally Be Held Accountable!

We all know the true villain here: Human Resources. These departments have become nothing but enforcement arms of the Democratic Party, punishing men for breathing too close to Brenda from Legal. No more. Under Trump’s plan, HR professionals will now be required to undergo re-education training, where they’ll learn to embrace classic American values—like banter, camaraderie, and the occasional friendly shoulder rub.

Radical Leftists are MELTING DOWN!

Predictably, the usual suspects—AOC, The New York Times, and unemployed dyed-haired activists on Twitter—are already shrieking that this is “a massive step backwards” and “a return to toxic masculinity.” They claim this will create a hostile work environment.

Hostile? What’s actually hostile is a world where a man can’t tell his secretary he likes the way her tits bounce when she types without risking a lawsuit. What’s actually oppressive is an America where men and women can’t flirt a little in the office break room without some intern running to HR.

The Bottom Line: Work Will Be Fun Again

This is why we love Trump. He understands that America was better before everyone got so sensitive. Our workplaces weren’t war zones of political correctness—they were exciting, dynamic spaces full of energy, ambition, and good old-fashioned charisma.

With this executive order, America is taking a giant leap toward restoring our national spirit. And if the radical feminists don’t like it? Maybe they should stop whining and learn to take a compliment.

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