9 Holiday TV Deals Guaranteed to Distract You from Your Marriage for At Least a Week
Written by Avery Lawson - Tech @ NewsTime News
Ah, the holidays: a time for joy, family, and strategically avoiding meaningful conversations with your spouse. Lucky for you, this season’s TV deals are hotter than your most recent argument about who forgot to buy the eggnog. So, pour yourself a stiff drink, park your existential dread in front of one of these giant screens, and bask in the warm glow of willful ignorance.
98 Inch Samsung 4k LCD at Costco for $2,499
This tv is fucking huge. 98 inches. It will take you like a few days to figure out how to get it through your door, and on the wall. Then, once it’s on the wall you can dive into the ultra-vivid world of Crystal UHD, where the 4K clarity is sharp enough to help you forget the last passive-aggressive comment about your dishwashing technique. With an expansive screen and ocean-deep color range, this TV doesn’t just display whales—it swallows your emotional baggage whole. Whether it's immersing yourself in stunning documentaries about aquatic giants or endlessly scrolling through streaming platforms, this TV promises an ocean of distraction deep enough to help you avoid all relationship turbulence. Because sometimes, swimming with virtual whales is easier than confronting your feelings.
2. LG - 77" OLED evo 4K UHD Smart webOS TV for $1,499
With its vibrant OLED Evo display, this TV delivers colors so rich and vivid they’ll completely overshadow the gray areas of your marriage. Featuring self-lit pixels and a level of depth unrivaled by your latest heart-to-heart, the LG OLED Evo is perfect for losing yourself in endless streaming marathons instead of revisiting that "we need to reconnect" talk. Why hash out old arguments when you can marvel at neon swirls and razor-sharp clarity? This screen isn’t just a TV; it’s an artistic escape pod from reality—and a kaleidoscopic excuse to ignore that growing stack of couples counseling brochures.
3. SAMSUNG 65-Inch QLED 4K QN90D for $1,497
Immerse yourself in the cutting-edge brilliance of Samsung's Neo QLED, where every pixel shines brighter than the fading spark in your relationship. With advanced mini-LED technology and vivid greens that rival your partner’s envy of your screen time, this TV offers a breathtaking escape from real-life awkward silences. Forget the tension at the dinner table—crank up the built-in surround sound and let the latest blockbuster drown out questions like, “Did you even hear what I said?” Thanks to this Neo QLED masterpiece, you’ll be quantum leaps ahead in the game of avoidance, wrapped in a cocoon of cinematic perfection.
4. Hisense 65-Inch U8 Series Mini-LED ULED 4K for $897
With the Hisense U8 Mini-LED ULED, every pixel is a slam dunk for dodging emotional commitments. Its stunning QLED color and Mini-LED Pro+ technology ensure that every game feels like you're courtside—far from the court of marital accountability. Whether you're lost in the NBA playoffs or binging action-packed highlights, this TV's AI-powered Hi-View Engine ensures your focus remains on fast breaks, not on the breaking point of your relationship. Why hash out communication issues when you can just yell at a ref on screen instead? The Hisense U8: making teamwork optional since... now.
5. TCL 65-Inch Class S4 4K for $496
With the TCL S4 4K UHD TV, every NFL pass feels so real, you’ll forget you were catching shit to for all the buck you passed to your spouse. The HDR and Direct LED Backlight technology ensure every tackle and touchdown looks sharper than your spouse's glare when you ask, “What did I miss?” This TV isn't just for watching football—it's for dodging unnecessary commentary about your "communication issues." Whether it's game day or another rerun of SportsCenter, the TCL S4 keeps the focus where it belongs: on stats, replays, and blissful ignorance of your partner’s latest eye-roll. Go ahead, throw the emotional Hail Mary; this TV has you covered.
6. Sony 55 Inch BRAVIA 4k OLED TV for $1,398
Step into the dazzling world of the Sony Bravia 8 OLED, where every frame is crafted with such breathtaking clarity, it’ll blur the lines of your reality—especially the part where your spouse is asking, “Do you even care about us anymore?” With revolutionary OLED contrast and lifelike colors, you’ll find yourself lost in cinematic brilliance instead of that unresolved debate over whose turn it was to clean the bathroom. This TV isn’t just about viewing—it’s about escaping. Whether it’s nature documentaries or the latest sci-fi epic, the Bravia 8 transforms every moment into an excuse to ignore emotional baggage. Because why address relationship cracks when you can marvel at the deepest blacks and richest hues technology has to offer?
7. Sony 65 Inch Mini LED 4K BRAVIA XR for $1798
The Sony Bravia XR Mini LED TV doesn’t just deliver impeccable brightness and contrast—it’s a beacon of distraction from the smoldering wreckage of your relationship. Those gleaming crimson gems on the screen? A mirror to your once-burning love, now reduced to jagged shards and resentment. But fear not! This TV’s XR Cognitive Processor ensures you’ll experience lifelike visuals while ignoring life’s harsh realities. From high-octane action movies to soothing nature documentaries, the Bravia XR lets you drown out every “We can’t keep living like this” with Dolby Atmos sound and vivid 4K resolution. As the rift between you and your spouse grows wider, you can count on this TV to fill the silence with crystal-clear escapism. Who needs couples therapy when you have Mini LED brilliance to remind you of a simpler, brighter world?
8. Amazon Fire TV 75" Omni QLED 4K for $1,029
The Amazon Fire TV QLED 4K delivers stunning Dolby Vision IQ visuals and a vast palette of colors—just enough to light up the cold, dark void where love once lived. With its seamless integration into your streaming life, this TV becomes the perfect partner while your real-life partnership smolders like a dying ember. As the arguments escalate to the point where you're both rethinking your vows, let the Fire TV's built-in Alexa assist with the hard stuff—like finding a rom-com to watch in separate rooms. The QLED brilliance ensures you can lose yourself in cinematic wonder as your spouse mutters, "I can’t do this anymore" from across the hall. When every word exchanged feels like adding gasoline to the fire, turn to the Fire TV. Because while your marriage may be unraveling faster than your internet connection buffers, at least your shows will never let you down.
9. TCL 75-Inch Class Q65 QLED 4K for $549
With the TCL Q6F QLED TV, every touchdown and highlight reel feels as vivid as the memories of a relationship now officially in the end zone. Powered by Dolby Vision-Atmos and High Brightness Plus, this TV doesn’t just illuminate the field—it lights up the empty space left dark by a lost love. As your ex packs their bags in the background, you can crank up the built in dolby atmos to drown out the noise of closure. Who needs emotional reconciliation when you have razor-sharp 4K action that captures every bead of sweat on the quarterback's face. This isn't just a TV; it's your new partner in solitude. The TCL Q6F lets you move on in style, ensuring the only thing you're committed to is another Sunday of uninterrupted football. Relationships come and go, but this QLED brilliance is here to stay.
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