
Ancient Tectonic Beast Awakens After Myanmar Earthquake, Immediately Declares Congressional Run
A massive 8.7-magnitude earthquake in Myanmar has not only rocked the nation but also awakened "Grumbla'Rok the Seismic Sovereign", an ancient tectonic beast long slumbering beneath the Earth’s crust.

Punxsutawney Phil Predicts At Least Six More Weeks of Climate Disaster
At this year’s Groundhog Day ceremony, the world-famous Punxsutawney Phil emerged from his burrow, took one look at his surroundings, and promptly issued a bleak prediction: at least six more weeks of climate disaster. The announcement came as a surprise to the gathered crowd of Phil enthusiasts, many of whom were expecting the traditional meteorological forecast of either an early spring or prolonged winter.

Atmospheric River and Cyclone Combine In What Some Are Calling “Normal weather”
In what meteorologists are describing as "a cataclysmic fusion of climate extremes" and Republican lawmakers are describing as "just a quirky Tuesday," an atmospheric river collided with a Category 4 cyclone this week, leaving much of the West Coast in a state of soggy disbelief.