REVIEW: Moana 2 (2024)
Review By Liam Herschall — NewsTime News
Disney’s Moana 2 is a stunning sequel, filled with dazzling visuals, catchy songs, and a heartfelt story about leadership, family, and finding your place in an ever-changing world. Auli’i Cravalho is as brilliant as ever in the role of Moana, capturing her maturity and resolve with grace and strength. The animation is next-level, with ocean waves so lifelike I half-expected to get sprayed in the face, and the music by Abigail Barlow and Emily Bear is as vibrant and emotional as fans could hope for.
But none of that matters. Not really. Because instead of watching this cinematic gem in the comfort of my home—where I have spent almost a thousand god damn dollars on Disney Plus over the years—I was forced to endure it in a theater packed to the brim with screaming children, sticky floors, and what can only be described as a loud and aggressive juice box incident.
Let me be clear: I subscribe to Disney Plus, and have since the service first came out. I pay for the premium plan. I’m all-in. And when Disney announced Moana 2, I thought, “Great! I’ll watch it at home the second it drops.” But no. Despite the fact that I am a premium plan Disney Plus subscriber, they’ve decided that Moana 2 is for theaters only. And so, I was forced to venture out into the loud, sticky wild.
Moana’s journey to unite her people with distant islands while facing a mysterious storm spirit is compelling, emotional, and often laugh-out-loud funny. The opening number, We’re Back, is a showstopper, with its soaring harmonies and intricate choreography. But it was hard to appreciate this artistry when I had a toddler repeatedly kicking the back of my seat while shouting, “WHERE’S MICKEY?”
The climactic battle with the god Nalo, is a visual and narrative triumph, showcasing Moana’s growth as a leader and her unwavering belief in her people. I wish I could have fully enjoyed it, but by this point, one kid in my row had entered a meltdown so severe I thought I might be witnessing a first tantrum powerful enough to summon a real ocean storm spirit. I glanced at the parents, hoping for intervention, but they were scrolling their phones like they were at home on Disney Plus—which is where I should have been watching this movie.
So, yes, Moana 2 is a triumph of animation and storytelling. But the experience of seeing it in a theater filled with juice-stained chaos gremlins completely undercut its magic. Disney, you’ve got a platform with every dollar of mine attached to it. Use it. Let me watch these movies in my home, on my couch, where the only screaming children are imaginary ones conjured by your animated genius.
Until then, I’m logging into Disney Plus every day, refreshing the homepage like a shipwrecked sailor searching for rescue, and seeing nothing but Zootopia, which I’ve already watched like four times.
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